The concept of therapy is now well and truly ingrained in mainstream culture. Film, music, and particularly influencers on social media portray it in a fairly stereotypical way. I.e. you go to a stripped back office, incognito, tell an older, wiser looking person your problems and they’ll essentially guide you on your way. It’ll involve a lot of tears and so called “hard work” and then your problems will be solved. The anxiety you feel - gone, the shame and sadness in your bones - evaporated.

Whilst it’s so important that mental wellbeing is discussed openly in the zeitgeist, this portrayal does a disservice to all of us. While parts of this experience may be true for some, the better acquainted path would most likely look something like this; you’ve gotten to the breaking point and you are in desperate need of a solution. You find a therapist through searching online and go for a few sessions - you leave feeling vulnerable and exposed and then realise it’s probably not a great fit. You try various others, until you finally find the perfect match - they get you. You are able to present honestly and be vulnerable without feeling stripped bare. The path ahead isn’t linear and at times you question it’s worth but one day you realise you have gained a fresh perspective of the world, a better understanding of yourself and a relational experience that is quite unique.

I say this not because I believe therapy should be put in the too hard basket but because I wish I had someone tell me at 21 that it might not solve everything immediately. It might be a slow, uncomfortable, imperfect, albeit beautiful process of self discovery. You will hopefully find out what you really want and who you really are but no mental health professional can tell you how to live your life. Therapy isn’t successful due to the therapist’s intellect or ability to provide us knowledge that we don’t already possess, but rather because they have learnt a way of being that provides a unique experience for us. A relational experience that is all at once safe, yet honest and at times extremely challenging. Carl Rogers, the pioneer of Person-centred therapy believes that when we are listened to by another in an accepting manner, we slowly begin to accept more of ourselves in the same way (Rogers,1954). This concept does not have to exist solely in the realm of therapy. If we extend this way of being towards others in our lives, we will likely see the positive impact on us and them.

So, does therapy work? Of course, I believe it does, otherwise, I wouldn’t have chosen this career. However maybe not in the way it’s so often portrayed. It won’t magically erase life’s challenges, but it can give you the tools, insight, and space to navigate them in a way that feels more manageable and true to you.

Reference: Rogers, C. R. (1954). On becoming a person (2nd ed.). Houghton Mifflin (Trade).

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